Eagles to Face Pats in Biggest Loser Consolation Bracket

This decade is only days old, and a new era has already begun in the NFL. No more Steelers, no more Patriots. Of the handful of franchises that defined the last ten years of football, only the Colts remain alive in their quest for this year’s Lombardi trophy.

Wildcard weekend had its share of shitbombs, but none more disappointing than the collective effort of the Eagles and Patriots…two teams of yesteryear that certainly held higher expectations than this.

All you need to know about the Patriots performance is that the Ravens put the scoreboard smack on them despite a QB rating of 10 by their starter. That’s right, Joe Flacco only needed 34 yards of passing for his team to blast Belichick’s bunch. Somewhere tonight, Trent Dilfer sheds tears of joy.

If Elmer Fudd had been calling the game, he would have needed but 6 words – “Way Wice wuns wampant with Wavens”. Say that five times fast.

Then there are the Eagles. The Dallas Cowboys needed all of 2 offensive play calls to give the dirty birds the beatdown of their lives. All night long it was either the quick draw WR screen or the HB delay that broke down an uninspired Eagles defense. It was like watching a retro-game of Tecmo Bowl on Nintendo. The Eagles countered by using 2 play calls of their own – the incomplete deep pass, and the incomplete moderately deep pass. The two best plays for the Eagles came on a Michael Vick trick play and, I shit you not, a McNabb interception. Guess who won that game?

What this means for the Patriots is that a lot of people not named Bill Belichick are likely to be canned, or sentenced to death by firing squad.

And for the Iggles, it will be pretty much the same ole’ story. Writers, bloggers, and fans saying that McNabb has played his last game in Philly…for about the 6th or 7th year in a row.

Fortunately, all will be forgotten in a few days when the media resumes an all new season of Favre-fest…which is scheduled to run at least until mid-August.

Stupid Eagles…