What the Flix?

I’ve been in a committed relationship with Netflix for the better part of a year.  At first, it was all so new and wonderful…but now the honeymoon is over.  I’m more than willing to take the good with the bad, but it’s clear there are some issues to be worked out.

“It’s been almost a year, and sometimes I feel like you don’t even know me.”

Case in point…I tell my precious Netflix how much I enjoyed watching cult classics such as Anchorman, Rounders, and The Big Lebowski.  And then she suggests we watch some shitty stand-up act.  What gives?

To be fair, I know very little of Bill Burr.  But I know enough to realize he shouldn’t be in the same sentence as The Big Lebowski.  Not to mention, he looks like a douchebag version of Ron Howard.

“Because I enjoyed Rounders”?  Are you kidding me?  I have no clue what I did wrong with my ratings, but most of my Netflix recommendations are filled with second-rate stand-up specials and spoof comedies.  It should be enough that Larry the Cable Guy has taken over the History Channel, but now I have to deal with this shit, too.

“But all my family and friends live here, I don’t want to move anywhere else.”

Apparently, all your friends and family are morons.  Look at these local favorites for Las Cruces.  Not one, but two Jesse Stone movies?  This is wrong on so many levels.

First of all, what the hell is Tom Selleck doing?  He goes from Magnum P.I. to a poor man’s Walker, Texas Ranger.  Shameful…

But more importantly, this is the best that the Las Cruces community can find to watch?  Keep in mind, this isn’t some pass the time instant watch movie series…this is the serious DVD through the mail stuff.  It’s frightening to think I live in an area where multiple households are anxiously awaiting the next installment of the Jesse Stone saga to arrive.

As if that’s not bad enough, the local list on instant watch has the very unfunny Carlos Mencia, a heavy dose of crappy reality shows, and Ralph Macchio.  And you thought your neighbors were annoying…