Only in the Southwest - Nipple Ripper Edition

Yeye cat fight!

As a disclaimer, this isn’t exactly the sexy Hollywood kind of cat fight I’m talking about. Instead of bikini-clad college co-eds going at it in a pool of peanut butter…this story is more like tube-top in a truck-stop hard core reality. Be warned…

And here it is, a headline simply too intriguing to ignore:


Woman rips off daughter-in-law’s nipple in drunken brawl

I know there is a lot of family-induced stress around the holidays, but what the fuck?

“When the victim began arguing with her 44-year-old mother-in-law, the older woman allegedly "grabbed (the victim's) right breast and began to squeeze and pull on her nipple."”

Did I mention this wasn’t really going to be the sexy-kind of catfight?

“…she felt fluid on her breast and realized there was blood on her shirt. When she untucked her tank top, her nipple fell on the floor, she told police.”

Oh look, there’s my nipple. I was wondering where that went.

Excuse me! How in the hell can you not even realize that your nipple has been ripped off? I guess “alcohol” would be the only acceptable answer there. Nothing like a Natty Light on a cold winter night…

“The victim put the nipple in a bag and, after several hours, decided she should go to the emergency room.”

I guess after several hours, she finally realized that super glue or a staple gun probably wasn’t the way to go. Good thinking. Who says excessive drinking impairs judgment?

So we’ll see how the police investigation turns out, though I can’t imagine a lot of officers are volunteering for that assignment. Hope the sketch-artist doesn’t have a sensitive stomach.

Zip that sweater up tight, the Nip Ripper may be out there tonight.